A new year offers a fresh startânot just for personal goals but for how we care for aging loved ones. Whether you're a family caregiver providing daily support or managing care from a distance with a loved one in an adult family home, thoughtful resolutions can improve quality of life for everyone involved.
These resolutions focus on realistic, meaningful goals that strengthen relationships, reduce stress, and ensure your loved one receives the best possible care.
Resolutions for Better Communication
1. Have Regular Check-In Conversations
Commit to meaningful conversations beyond surface-level pleasantries:
- Schedule weekly calls or visits at consistent times
- Ask open-ended questions about their day and feelings
- Really listen without rushing or multitasking
- Share your own life updatesârelationships go both ways
2. Improve Communication with Care Providers
Resolution: Build stronger relationships with the care team
- Learn all caregivers' names and greet them personally
- Express appreciation regularly
- Address concerns promptly but respectfully
- Attend care conferences and stay informed
3. Keep Family Updated
Resolution: Ensure all family members stay informed
- Set up a family communication channel (text group, shared app)
- Share updates after medical appointments
- Include distant family in care decisions
- Document important information so it's not just in one person's head
Resolutions for Quality Time
4. Create Meaningful Experiences
Resolution: Focus on quality over quantity in visits
- Plan activities you can do together (not just sitting)
- Bring projects: photo albums, crafts, puzzles
- Play their favorite music during visits
- Take walks when weather and ability allow
- Read aloud together
5. Involve Grandchildren
Resolution: Foster intergenerational connections
- Bring grandchildren for appropriate visits
- Help grandchildren write letters or make cards
- Set up video calls with younger family members
- Create opportunities for them to share experiences
6. Celebrate Small Moments
Resolution: Find joy in everyday interactions
- Mark small occasions (first day of spring, national holidays)
- Bring favorite treats "just because"
- Take photos during visits to share later
- Notice and appreciate good moments
Resolutions for Self-Care
7. Prioritize Your Own Health
Resolution: You can't pour from an empty cup
According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, caregivers often neglect their own health. Commit to:
- Scheduling and keeping your own medical appointments
- Getting regular exercise, even just walking
- Eating well and sleeping enough
- Taking prescribed medications consistently
8. Take Breaks Without Guilt
Resolution: Use respite care when needed
- Research respite care options in your area
- Schedule regular breaks before you're exhausted
- Take vacationsâyour loved one's care continues without you
- Accept help when offered
9. Find Support
Resolution: Don't go it alone
- Join a caregiver support group (in-person or online)
- Connect with others in similar situations
- Consider counseling if grief or stress is overwhelming
- Lean on friends and community
Resolutions for Planning
10. Get Legal Documents in Order
Resolution: Ensure important documents are current and accessible
- Review power of attorney and healthcare directives
- Discuss end-of-life wishes if not already documented
- Organize important papers in one location
- Share information with appropriate family members
11. Understand the Financial Picture
Resolution: Know where things stand and plan ahead
- Review current care costs and funding sources
- Project how long current resources will last
- Research Medicaid eligibility and planning options
- Consult professionals (elder law attorney, financial advisor) as needed
12. Prepare for Changes
Resolution: Think ahead about "what if" scenarios
- What if current care setting can no longer meet their needs?
- What if you become unable to manage care?
- What if a medical crisis occurs?
- What if funding runs out sooner than expected?
Making Resolutions Stick
Choose Just a Few
Don't try to do everything. Pick 2-3 resolutions that would make the biggest difference and focus on those.
Make Them Specific
Instead of "visit more," try "visit every Saturday at 2pm for at least an hour."
Track Progress
Note what you're doing well and where you need to recommit. Celebrate successes.
Be Flexible
Circumstances change. Adjust your goals as needed without seeing it as failure.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I find a caregiver support group?
The Alzheimer's Association, local Area Agency on Aging, hospitals, and religious organizations often host support groups. Online options include the AARP caregiver community and various Facebook groups. Your loved one's care facility may know of local resources. Even virtual support groups can provide meaningful connection.
What if my loved one doesn't recognize me anymore?
This is heartbreaking but doesn't mean visits are pointless. Even when recognition fades, emotional connection often remainsâthey may not know who you are but still feel comfort from your presence. Focus on creating pleasant experiences in the moment. Your visits matter even without recognition.
How do I handle caregiver guilt about not doing enough?
Guilt is nearly universal among caregivers. Remember: you're doing the best you can with the resources available. Perfect caregiving doesn't exist. Self-care isn't selfishâit enables you to continue caring. Consider working with a therapist who understands caregiver dynamics. Support groups also help normalize these feelings.
How can I encourage distant family members to be more involved?
Give specific tasks rather than vague requests ("Can you handle scheduling doctor appointments?" vs. "Can you help more?"). Help them understand the current situationâthey may not realize what's involved. Use technology for inclusion: video calls, shared care updates, digital photo sharing. Some family members do better with financial support than hands-on care.
Is it wrong to feel relieved that my parent is in care?
Absolutely not. Relief is a normal, healthy response to having the burden of 24/7 caregiving lifted. It doesn't mean you don't love your parentâit means you're human. Professional care was the right choice if you couldn't safely or sustainably provide what was needed. Feeling relief allows you to return to being their family member, not just their caregiver.